Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
