I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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