i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
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