I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize