a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
