I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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