I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
