i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
