And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
