Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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