he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Panties = found
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
