Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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