It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Panties = found
Randomize
