So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
