I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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