I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
