you guys were way drunker than both of me
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
