I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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