So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Let's get the cat blown out
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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