living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
