I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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