You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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