yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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