your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize