ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
