I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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