I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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