i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
he was CRYING into my vagina
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
