yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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