dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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