I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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