Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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