I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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