ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
