So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
