ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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