just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
