I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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