two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
