i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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