Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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