You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
