Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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