my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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