it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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