do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
