so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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