epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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