i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
