covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
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