playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
