So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
