singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
