dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
