everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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