how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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