we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
