Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
