We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
